Origins:

I was spawned in the city of Y'ha-nthlei, along with tens of thousands of my brothers and sisters. Somehow, the details are a bit fuzzy, my pod became separated from the clutch and I found myself being hatched upon the land. I have no idea how all of this came about because...well, Duh, I was still fetal at the time, but I do know that a kindly pack of Wolves found and raised me until around my 6th year. 

 

That was when the Gypsies discovered me, living in the wilds and terrorizing the local farmers by liberating their livestock into my belly. The Gypsies wanted to keep me, as a pet of sorts, but their group's Phuri Dae declared me to be cursed, so they had no other recourse than to abandon me on the steps of the first Gadjo household they came across. 
 

Since then I have resided in a perpetual state of confusion.

A thief comes during the night and rapes your Oxen:

Does attempting to use the Apple II version of The Oregon Trail as a way to Hexify targets IRL make me a Technomancer?

 

The early years:

There's a reason why I've never use the by-products of living animals in any of my physical spells...

Many years ago, when I was first starting out in my Craft, I decided to make a poppet for this total jackass I knew. He was the type of person who was very charismatic, but also completely manipulative. For some reason, nobody could see through his bullshit, even after he'd use and hurt them. In the eyes of just about everyone, he could do no wrong.

Now, at the time, I was completely self taught. I didn't even have access to Occult books, or on-line. The only other Crafters I knew only became interested in magic after watching The Craft, which I didn't bother seeing until several years after it came out due to the staggering amount of converts it seemed to attract. The only reason I worked with Poppets so much is because of The Witches of Eastwick, and a scattering of "historical" books based around the Witch Hunts of the Inquisition. So my sources were questionable, but they seemed to work.

My plan was to make a "Liars Paste" in which to paint the Poppet with, while also stuffing the Poppet with foul materials meant to expose the target's true intentions, as well as cause him a bit of misfortune.

The ingredients for this paste were rather vile. I crushed up dead and dried cockroaches, flies, gnats and mosquitoes. I mixed this with the dried feces of various animals. Because he was a smoker, I was able to get ahold of his ashtray and mixed in the ashes from several of the cigarettes he smoked. Since my knowledge of herbs at the time was nonexistent, I went with what I knew, which was poison ivy and oak, dried and crushed into the mixture. I then took some rather putrid mud from a part of town rumored to be haunted. Since it was a favorite weekend hangout for junkies and he'd often visited there, I figured it would make for the perfect liquid so that my jar of bits and pieces could be turned into something I could paint my poppet with.

Like I said, this was a long time ago and many of my initial spells consisted of little more than mayhem and mudpies.

One of the issues I had with this spell was my concerns about using parts from animals which were still alive. The feces I collected belonged to mice, rats, and geese. I wondered if my spell could affect them in any way, as even though these were waste products, they were still possible taglines to the animals.

Now, at the time, there was an older woman who was knowledgeable about such things who set up at the local flea market. I often bought crystals from her, but we never spoke much about the Occult, as at the time, I was never really sure how I'd come off. I finally decided to ask about the possibility of causing harm to animals if I used any of their by-products in a spell, although I didn't include any actual details about what I was doing.

She gave me this very stern look and asked me pointblank if this spell was intended to cause any "harm". I quickly assured her that I would never do anything like that and sulked away. I never bothered to ask her anything relating to the Craft again, although a few years ago, after she learned I was pregnant with my younger son, she informed me that I was carrying the reincarnated soul of my recently deceased Father, which was probably one of the most revolting things she could have possibly told me, and confirmed my opinion that despite her age and experience, she was basically just Neo-Fluff and not really the type of person I needed to look towards as a possible mentor.

Because I never wanted to risk harming a living animal, I nixed the critter poop and went with something else instead.

The spell worked like a charm and Jackass suddenly found himself reviled by those who'd previously worshiped him like the second coming of Christ.

You know who you are:

I saw through your counterfeit guise from the beginning. The fact that you've attempted to go this far, for this long, only proves your foolishness in underestimating me.

Obviously not one of your most prudent decisions.

Although, despite your woeful lapse in judgement, and due to the fact that I hold you in some regard, insignificant as that may be, I shall impart a crumb unto you and yours. Know now that however you proceed from this moment on, that I shall not hold it against you, for if you persist in this ill-advised endevor, then you shall pay a price far greater than that of my disdain; which is in itself a thing to be reckoned with. The truth of the matter is that you simply are not worthy of any retaliation on my part, as even your greatest attempts to cast against me are less than the annoyance of a single gnat, and just as easily dismissed.

You see my little proselyte, the reasoning behind my lack of trepidation in regard to the tresspassing of mortals against me is due to the fact that my pain is sacred, and belongs wholly to another. One far older and more powerful than any God(s). That is not hubris, nor am I using Her as a threat against you, as She does not do my bidding. You will find however, like so many before you, that She is very territorial over Her chosen, and as one of Her marked, She can be a tad bit....protective towards me.

This is not affection, as She would love my decomposing corpse with the same intensity as She does my living form. No, any action taken on Her part against those whom would dare attempt to attack one of Hers stems solely from Her inability to share Her toys.....nothing more, and nothing less.

I am the Sibyl of the Darkness, a Primordial born of the Chaos. The Cursed Gods of Madness, Destruction, Pain, Betrayal, and Despair are but a few of Her children, and my God-kin.

They, and only they, are the orchestrators my torment.

Foolish human, whatever made you think that an amateur of your caliber would be allowed within the sacred gallery? You, who are a handful of hairs away from the chimps in which your ancestry lies? That you would be so audacious as to think that a puddle of oozing muck such as yourself would be permitted to breach the sanctum in which the Cursed Gods themselves create their masterpieces?

Such haughty arrogance.....how is it that you have survived this long without being crushed beneath the weight of your own presumptuous audacity? Even now your ego will not allow you to retreat, as you will only see my words as a challenge. So ostentatious....I do believe it is this quality, more than any other you possess, which amuses me so.

Although, if that is to be the case, then by all means, feel free to disregard my warnings if you so desire, as I have done my part as far as both you and this ritual are concerned. In the end, all of this shall account for nothing, as history has well taught us that human beings never pay any heed to the harbinger.

You see my sweet neophyte, Nietzsche was wrong. If you are foolish enough to seek communion with the abyss, then it won't simply stare back at you.....it will rip your soul from that screaming meat-husk you call a body and spend eternity making it, and everything you ever cared about in the very short span of your mortal life, it's bitch. 

Happy hunting. 

Nom, with a K:

I know the reason behind it, but I just can't take any "school" or site seriously if they spell Magic with a K.

Unless they're Crowley-ites, then I can overlook it, but most of these "school sites" are just Neo-Pagans trying to make a buck on the same stupid-ass bullshit you can find on-line for free.

I also refuse to read a site, page or anything that mentions "Threefold" in it. That word(s) is enough to make me dismiss anything else the author says as fluffy dreck.

It's not that I'm anti-fluff, because I believe they have their part in the balance, but that doesn't mean I'll go out of my way to waste my time on them either.

Unless I like the way they taste, then I might humor them for a bit, just in case I get the munchies and need a quick snack.

And no, I don't consider myself a vampire.....more like an energy cannibal.

People like me provide a viable service.

The unwashed masses were created for the sole purpose of mastication. They have way too much building up inside of them and desperately need an outlet, but are too damned lazy to seek one out. That's where Siphons and Feeders (what the Occult communities call "Energy Vampires") come into play. We Nom those fuckers back to normal and in the end, everybody's happy.

Unless we take too much, but that's really no biggie. What's a few less humans on an already overpopulated planet?

The things I put up with:

I had a rather weird night....basically something manifested to me, a gift I'm guessing. I'm just not sure of the source.

Now, I've always straddled two worlds....in a way that would be defined as "delusional" by most sane human beings, and while I often utilize such terms to define my experiences, because I don't expect the rest of the world to take them seriously, I personally believe that the things I hear and see are real.

I have a singular world which I have access to, other than this one. There are countless worlds out there though, and I believe that anything which alters perception, such as drug use or mental disorders, gives people a window, a way to view into those worlds.

Whatever came at me last night was not a part of either of my worlds. I believe it was connected to the "normal" reality, but just under a layer of that....or this, world. Something slightly beyond the veil, but not exactly part of a separate Verse.

Yes, I know, I'm batshit, you're not telling me anything I haven't already heard.

Anywho, usually when someone, or something, sends energy my way, I can sense it on some level, but never before have I had anything manifest both visually and audibly, like it did last night.

I'd like to think that anyone, who'd actually have the strength of will to send something my way, wouldn't be dumb enough to make such an attempt without at least first researching me, as I'm not afraid of spiders. Sending a giant ball of spider-like thingies at me, then having them crawl all over my bed isn't going to freak me out, it's just going to irritate me, because I wasted over an hour staring at the damned things before I realized they weren't "real".

I go enough without sleep, I don't need some pest contributing to my insomnia with something so inept.

On the other hand, if this was just some entity trying to mess with my head, or if I just witnessed a random occurrence, then it's no biggie. I'd rather not have to deal with anything else on my plate at this time, as I believe my mind is pretty damned open as it is, but aside from Electro-shock therapy, this shit isn't going anywhere any time soon, so I might as well suck it up and just learn to deal with it.

Spiders? Really? What's next, Butterflies?

Thank You:

I was 19 before my area was able to offer On-line access. By this time I was already married to my Husband and had a child. I was also in the beginning stages of my hermit-hood, and looked to on-line to satisfy my socialization needs.

After a year wasted destroying Vampire roleplaying chats in Hotmail, and hanging around a highly questionable chat, which was later closed down by the Feds, titled "The Armpit of the Internet" where I spent a great deal of my time spamming Tubgirl pictures, I finally discovered AOL, and my first real group of Occultists.

Before this time, I'd run into dabblers and fluffs, but never anyone whom I'd consider to be serious about the path they claimed to be on. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against fluffs or dabblers, so long as they don't get all "Witchier than thou" on me for being a little left-handed, but they weren't what I was looking for either. I was craving knowledge, something more than my collection of tepid Occult books offered.....and I found it.

Amongst this eclectic gathering of awesomesauce were a few 3rd Degree Wiccans (not Neos, actual Oathbound, lineage Wiccans), a scattering of Celtic and Norse reconstructionalists, a Herbal Goddess with both Native and Gypsy roots (who could tell you the practical, seasonal, medicinal, and metaphysical useage of just about every herb to ever grow on this planet, and would verbally bitchslap anyone who claimed to be an "Indian Shaman".), and an Atheist Mage who could write up pages worth on magic and science, and dabbled in blacksmithing, making suits of armor as a hobby.)

Oh, and a Theistic Satanist who, despite his youth, knew more about Demonology than anyone I've run across since.

I came to them with my mind wide open and told them straight off about my background, admitting openly to my ignorance. They responded by pimp-slappin' the stupid out of me. At the time, I was still slightly hyper-sensitive, so my feelings were hurt, but within a few weeks I grew a thicker skin and realized that I was actually learning from them. Later on I was told that if they hadn't seen potential in me, then they would have just ignored me. That their brutal welcome, which seems polite in comparison to some of the asshats I've met since, was a test, as they didn't have time to waste on fools.

So they took me in, and within two years, I went from novice, to having several of them tell me that they considered me a peer.

They taught me one of the most important lessons I've yet to learn in regards to my faith, and practice.....that my beliefs should never be limited by any one person or book, and I should never try to remold or define my path around that of another.

Instead of telling me what I should believe, they told me everything....well, the Wiccans didn't, but they told me what they could....and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that most of my stumbling over the years wasn't nearly as bad as I'd thought. In fact, I was probably better off on my own, than being bogged down with a bunch of Coven mumbo jumbo.

I was with them for about 5-6 years, and then the arrival of a few trolls, the worst of which was a "Christian Wiccan"....yeah, figure that one out....and AOL's decision to completely destroy their forums, lead to everyone leaving.

I never bothered to try and stay in touch with any of them. At the time, it felt natural. These people, whom I'd shared so much with and held in such high esteem, had played their part in my life, and it was time for me to move on, keep walking, and not look back.

Sometimes people come into your life, and when it's time for them to go, you know that you'll probably never speak to them again, and it's Okay. That's the way it's meant to be.

I have massive issues with my memory, so the few I do feel a connection to, I cherish. I remember them, and a part of me always will.

They played a pivotal part in my growing process, and I will always be grateful for them for that.